Stay cool under pressure
Staying cool under pressure

So I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving or at least a decent one. You know that was just ‘social dress rehearsal’ for the big one, so I am breaking my Sunday habit and posting about things we can do (and those we should avoid) to make these holidays the best ever. Who of us has not experienced the “dis” from someone we know, and perhaps even love? I know I have. Here’s what to do should someone just tick you off:

‘Tis the Season, Tip #1:

When your in-law, or brother, or partner says something that embarrasses you at this year’s holiday get-together, or just makes you mad, don’t react. Take a breath and say… nothing! Then either change the subject or walk away. I know, but you can do it! And you will look, oh so in control. And guess what? They won’t say it again. Why? Because people like that often dis someone to get a reaction. No reaction? They stop doing it.

Also, (and here’s the part I love) when you appear calm, cool, and collected in the face of nastiness it makes you look like a social rock star. Someone everyone will want to hang with. The added benefit is that it will make them look foolish or immature (I know we are supposed to be nice but he started it!! Oh, sorry.)

Of course if neither of these tactics work and the nastiness continues, feel free to smile and simply say, “______ stop acting like a jerk, thanks, and please pass the salad.”

Remember one thing it took me years to learn:  if you get upset, if someone’s rudeness makes you have a lousy time, or if another’s thoughtless remarks hurt you, it’s your loss. They most likely don’t care. I want you to win by putting that anger or pain right where it belongs:  in the trash folder of your brain. Enjoy the party, and enjoy the people who deserve you.

Love and joyful times,

Kathy